I am notoriously hard on myself when it comes to anything and everything. At work I think I have to put in long hours, do A+ work, make zero mistakes, and always be up for anything. At home I run a tight ship, keep everything clean, home cook all of our meals, do all the finances and budgeting, and still make time to be an attentive wife. Now, as a blogger I feel like daily updates/posts are a must, and they have to be high in entertainment value.
I need to be real with myself!
My life is not that entertaining. The TTC Journey is also not entertaining. It’s heartbreaking and both emotionally, and at times physically, painful. As of today I am on my last day of a ten day cycle of Provera (progesterone). Hoping to get my period in the next couple days, and then on CD3 I will start my first round of Clomid. I am cautiously optimistic but deeply terrified. Both fortunately and unfortunately, I haven’t given much thought to it over the last few days because I have been battling the serious headache, dizzy, confused side effects from Provera. I feel like an emotional wreck, and I have inadvertently taken it out on my husband a couple of times.
I just feel so raw right now, and trying to balance my desire for perfection in every aspect of my life with the reality that things are far from perfect. So I apologize to anyone who may be seeking advice, experience, or entertainment from my blog at the moment for the lack of updates!
In my next post I hope to share my experiences with the dreaded hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test. Stay tuned!